Friday, November 30, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: TPTB LOVE CARLY SO MUCH THEY MAY HAVE TWO OF THEM!

Color me shocked everbody. As of November 30th, Sarah Brown's (the original Carly) website has confirmed she is coming back to the show. I repeat, SARAH BROWN IS RETURNING TO GENERAL HOSPITAL. Yeah, you read that right. I just checked outside, but there are no pigs flying and as far as I know, hell did not freeze over.

Mysteriously enough, her site did not say she was resuming the role of Carly, and rumors have it that she is the new Sarah Webber (which I refuse to believe b/c Sarah Brown's Carly was so good at hating Liz.) I do not have any clue where this leaves Laura Wright, but I hope she is not of the shuffle.

What would have been good is if she came on as Charlotte "Carly" Roberts, but of course TPTB already fudged up that would-be good story.

If these scab writers are responsible for the return of a multiple Emmy winner, then long live this damn strike! More details to come as I get them...

Sunday, November 25, 2007

The Aftermath...November Sweeps

I was going to write another post detailing the past week and a half in review. But then I realized something. I only need two words to sum it up. EMILY'S DEAD. You didn't even have to watch last week to know that. Even the baby paternity reveal couldn't trump that ish. In fact, the whole reveal is kinda forgettable in comparison.

So here we go, another Quartermaine bites the dust. And then there were 3. The only good thing about the Quartermaines dropping like flies is the fact that Ned comes to visit for their funerals. And while it is great to see him, it's not enough reason to kill off almost an entire family.

Wait, another good thing. Tyler Christopher rocked the house (or shall I say, the Wyndermere) in Em's death scenes. Emmy committe take not, if he is not at least nominated, them you suck more than I thought. And I got misty-eyed watching Edward talk to Skye. Another great was Laura Wright, who played Carly quite appropriatley during the scene. I'm sure you all know that Carly and Emily's relationship was tolerance, at best. Carly stayed in the background and subtly showed emotion, until she pulled Jason into a hug. Then when she realized her own mortality (which actually surprised me), she clung to Jax for dear life.

So, anyway, sorry this post isn't very snarky, but I'm pissed that TPTB are spitting in the face of legacy, yet again. And, no, don't expect this to be the last child of a legacy character that dies. I'm not going to spoil it for the people who don't know, but there is another to come. Even the children of legacy characters aren't safe! Unless your LuLu, of course.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

The Prince is Giving a Ball! Sweeps Review 11/5-11/9

When we last left the citizens of Port Charles, danger was lurking around every corner. Let's see if things got any better. Don't hold your breath.

We start with Jason "Cool Rider" Morgan braving the storm to rescue his loved ones. Funny how none of the boats, excuse me, launches, can go out in the storm, but Jason and his God-forsaken jet ski make it through, even when it looks like the damn thing explodes. That wonders of Jason Morgan and his hair never cease to amaze me.

Back at Wyndermere, Nik is still whining that nothing at the ball is going as planned. Then he goes and knocks out Lucky after another blackout. And he wonders why no one wants him walking around by himself?

Meanwhile Emily tells the story of the original ball YET AGAIN. But of course she tells her very special edited version where Nikolas isn't in love with Robin. I like the original version better, thank you.

Liz, obviously still reeling over seeing a dead body, plucks that ice pick right out of that man's chest to use as a weapon while wondering the hallways. Ever resourseful, she is. And lemme tell you something, Liz wondering the hallways with that wide-eyed, scared look, carrying that bloody ice pick had cheesy horror B-movie written all over it. And did anyone else notice that Liz was leaving her fingerprints all over a murder weapon?

But luckily for Liz, she wasn't alone for long....because guess who come to her rescue? Zander Smith! Wait, no wrong baby's father....Jason Morgan! Of course, duh. But Jason doesn't just quietly whisper Liz's name. He comes up behind her and scares the crap out of her. Why, I don't know. But boy is Liz relieved to see her hero, Jason. He takes her to the stables for safety and then see she's got a bruise. She tells him Sam did it and she's crazy. Jason said he'll take care of Sam later. Oh, please. It's not Sam's fault that Liz bruised and she didn't. She just hits harder, that's all! Once at the barn Jason teaches a reluctant Liz how to shoot a gun. And I swear, he's getting off on the fact that she's doing it. It's like he popped her gun-shooting cherry, or something.

We see Alexis slapping Trevor and calling him a selfish bastard for not helping Ric aka Richard. But I'm sure that Ric is fine, as he is alone in a room with Alexis, Skye, and Leyla.

You would think with all this ish going on that Sonny would be front and center, being that one of the madmen is there because of him. But no, he and Kate are totally oblivious as they are still having "The TALK." But talking isn't the only thing they are doing, because Trevor walks in on them having sex. Shocking.

Oh yeah, Robin and Patrick have their standard 2 minutes of relationship (or lack thereof) talk.

Sam, Jax and Jerry decide to go and fix a boat so they can take people to the mainland. But they don't realize that only Jason and his jetski can make it in a storm because that makes perfect sense. Anyway, while the 3 are arguing, Carly sneaks out, determined to find that damn text-message killer.

While Carly is running around aimlessly, she trips on Coop, who's in bad shape. But Carly is on a mission, so Coop be damned!

Just then, shots are fired! Uh-oh, people are shooting at the boat. To keep her safe Jax jumps on Sam, and if you remember their history, this isn't the first time. Don't worry, everyone comes out unscathed.

My new favorite newbie Nadine learns the hard way never to become involved in one of Lulu's half-baked schemes. Anthony grabs her thinking she's Lulu. While he's kinda annoyed that she's not LuLu....he's really annoyed that she's not into gardening. But not to worry, Spinelli comes to Nadine's aid, and the 2 run around the halls and scream when they see Anthony again. More proof that this is a B-rated horror movie.

Ric is in bad shape and he needs a blood transfusion, stat! But of course finding A negative or O blood types won't be easy, because it's a soap opera we're talking about.

Sam, Jax, and Jerry have a different way of saving Ric. They will use their newly-fixed boat to bring him to the mainland! But the three of them fight to see who is the most qualified to steer a boat in such dire conditions. But before a brutal game of rock-paper-scissors insues, Jax is declared the winner.

Oh, and Lulu is all running around like a moron like usual. Everthing is "Logan, blah, blah, blah, Johnny, blah, blah, blah." Meanwhile, Scott, Luke, and Logan realize they have to work together to get through the night.

But Maxie has more than one great jab at LuLu....as she is seeing the situation as it really is. Lulu being stupid.

Nik and Em are still talking about the ball gone wrong. I mean really, Nik, enough whining about it. Seriously, the guy is flippin' a cheeseburger because there's a killer (or 2) on the loose, like it's his fault it happened and HE has to go fix it because it's HIS house, and blackouts be damned. Nik, this isn't like you ordered patte and got caviar. Just be quiet and do what you're told!

Spinelli nearly pees his pants in delight when he and Nadine run into Jason. Nadine is baffled as to why Jason would want to send her and Spinelli to the barn and look for the killer on his own. And Jason is just as confused that a pretty female isn't asking to have his babies. To say the least, Nadine is none to impressed by St. Jasus Morgan, patron saint of the leather jacket.


Carly is still galavanting outside when she trips and bumps her head. When she wakes up, the sight ain't too pretty. It's Anthony Zachara! He starts talking about roses and women and ask's Carly if she loves her kids more than her husband. Carly's slick and says that the love is different and she will love her husband forever. Good enough for Anthony and he lets her go. What gets me is that he doesn't seem to know who Carly is. Doesn't every mob boss on the East Coast know who Carly is?

Ric is still out of it and shares a sweet scene with Alexis, telling her he wish he could do everything over. But he doesn't say he regrets sleeping with Sam. Hmmm.... Anyway, I got sad that TPTB ruined this couple, but Skye/Ric have loads of potential. I won't hold my breath, though.

Sonny grabs Johnny and puts a gun to his head to try and lure out Anthony. It doesn't work, because he's not in the building. Sonny would know that if he wasn't so busy having sex. Anyway, not being able to resist a pretty woman, or in this case two, Sonny let's go of Johnny after Kate and LuLu beg him. You know Sonny, he's a sucker for women begging. Johnny isn't too grateful, he tells Sonny that he's a fruitloop just like Anthony.

In the barn, Nadine and Liz are consoling Spinelli because he thinks that Jason thinks he's a wimp. Does it matter what Jason thinks? He obviously thinks that his hair looks good, does anyone else? But their are bigger fish to fry. There's a dead guy outside! And what are his famous last words? Zachara. Da-duh-dun!

Nikolas still wants to go a-hunting for the killer. He has a gun and is all ready. Emily is all hell no, but agrees when she realizes that they need her to help operate on Ric.

And how are they going to operate, you might ask? Not to worry, Patrick has the fishing line all ready, and Em is off to find the portable defibulator. Yeah, I know. Who the hell keeps a portable defibulator lying around their house? Apparently Nikolas.

Luke and Jerry are arguing over whether or not sailing a boat in a storm is a good idea. But Luke is alarmed when he hears a familar scream. "Spanky!" he exclaims. It is, and she took a tumble down the stairs when Alfred accidently scared her.

Carly storms (no pun intended) into the ballroom in a rage about Anthony. But then she realizes that Jax is gone. And when she finds out that he's off to sail Ric to safety she is mortified. But she's not done. She lashes out on Kate when she doesn't know where Sonny is, Carly is certain that she can find him. You, know because Carly is the ultimate mob moll, and all.


Logan is all pissy AGAIN, because Maxie is just speaking the truth about LuLu. But when Maxie disappears, he's all quick to say that she's doing it for attention. Um, no that's your girlfriend that does this for attention, not Maxie. He goes on and on until Georgie all but attacks his ass and Coops tells him he's a coward, just like he was in Iraq. Are we ever gonna find out what the hell went down with Logan in Iraq? Because I care less and less everytime they hint at it.

Turns out Anthony has Maxie, of course. He gives her his betrayal speech, and tells her he wants to play a game of Russian roulette, but in order to do so he must find a gaming room. Maxie points him in the wrong direction, and smacks him over the head when he turns his back. She hightails it outta there, and runs into Lucky on the way out. They hug in relief.

You know Lulu would be so jealous that Maxie hit Anthony before she did. But what she's not understanding is that she's not the only target, everyone is. Johnny should save his breath.

Patrick tells Sam and Jerry that Ric is too weak to leave the island. But don't worry, there hard work will not go to waste! Alexis and her side pains will go with Jax to the mainland. All is well! And did anyone else notice that Jax and Emily are all kinds of pretty when they were standing next to each other? They would have been a gorgeous couple, for sure.

Sam is having no lucky in finding Lucky....lol.

Nadine tells Liz about her sister, Jolene (as played by my pretend best friend Amanda Baker). Liz tells Nadine that sometimes people do things they never think they would do. I wonder what she's talking about....hmmmm....

Jason shows up at that very moment with two new people to stay in the barn, Johnny and Lulu. Liz can't control herself and jumps on Jason when she sees him. Later, Liz tells Nadine that Jason is not "her guy" and she should forget what she saw. Two things: 1) Her guy? What is this, a '50's sock hop? 2) If Nadine doesn't forget what she saw, is Liz gonna order a hit on her? Because she was kinda intent that Nadine doesn't say anything.

Spinelli is put in charge of babysitting Lulu. Lulu is all huffy because she thinks her "abilities" are being wasted just sitting in the barn and she wants to go help Johnny and Jason. In an attempt to stop her, Spinelli hits her over the head and knocks her out. Then Spinelli gets my gold star for the week. Congratulations, Mr. Jackyl!!

Back at the house, Trevor is begging Sonny to donate his blood to Ric. Sonny isn't saying much, but I think he's enjoying the fact that 3 people have begged him in the past couple of days. Kate thinks Sonny should donate his blood, something Carly finds deplorable. Kate wins, and Carlys gets all huffy that she doesn't get her way. Kate tells Sonny not to chase after her, and he obeys.

But what Carly wanders into isn't very good. A bunch of those rascaly gunmen are aimed to fire! Sam happens upon the scene, and Jason is soon to follow. Sharing a knowing glance, they open fire one the gunmen and save the day...and Carly. Carly is, as always, eternally grateful to Jason, but tells Sam that she only helped so Jason would take her back. St. Jason is all "Sam knows why I would never forgive her." And Sam is all like "Well I wouldn't come back if you came crawling!" But we all know that EVENTUALLY they will get back together. But maybe my Sam/Jason loving heart is just hoping for too much. Carly tells Jason that Sam is out to get them She doesn't even know the half of it!!

Lulu comes to (which is unfortunate, I was hoping for at least a few days of her out cold). She tells Spinelli that he is the best friend she has ever had. Okay, now this Lulu I like. But when Nadine accidently spills the beans that Spinelli hit her, she's back to whiny. Sigh. Nadine puts Lulu in her place and tells her that if Spinelli didn't hit her, she would! Did I mention that I love Nadine?

Nik fights with Logan, and later blacks out on Em for the 2,345th time. Anthony finds them and attacks Nik, while Em does nothing but scream. The gun is lying on the floor, right where Em could grab it, but she just screams her heart out. Luckily, Johnny saves the day. He's so hot. Sorry, I just had to add that one in.

Nik is tired of all his blackouts and asks Em to lock him in the closet. Emily is not too crazy about this idea, and I don't blame her. Being alone in a closet, locked or not, is all kinds of creepy in killers on the loose.

Luke and Tracy get all mushy and the writers use this opportunity to spit in our faces that they aren't asking Genie Francis back. Thanks, writers, thanks alot. Later, leaves to find Anthony, and find him he does. The 2 fight over who is more crazy, almost like kindred spirits. But then Luke has a heart attack, and the noises he makes crack me up.

Ric is ten shades of stunned that Trevor is visiting him, while Sonny unconcious from giving blood. Kate tries to make him come to, but Carly is the one that snaps him out of it. Maybe Sonny was afraid that at any minute Carly would start shrieking in his ear.

Sam and Lucky go to the stables for protection, where they stumble upon Liz. Sam is trying to get Liz to tell Lucky the truth to no avail. But, as always, Jason comes to the rescue, and stops Sam from talking. Ahhh, Cliffhanger Friday, now we gotta wait EVEN LONGER for the truth to come out!

Stay tuned for the next review of 11/12-11/16. Will Nik start singing R. Kelly's "Trapped in a Closet?" Will somebody knock out Lulu, again....please? We'll soon find out!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

The Prince is Giving A Ball! Sweeps in Review 10/31-11/2

Yeah, I totally stole the title for this thread from Roger & Hammerstein's Cinderella. Long live Stuart Damon! Anyway, November has been quite a busy month in Port Chuck....so let's take a look, shall we?

We start off on the docks, and in a totally predictable fashion, everybody runs into the people they do not want to see. Jerry is trying to convince Alexis to take him as her date to the ball. I'm sorry, but forget Sonny's dimples, I could listen to Sebastian Rouche talk everyday of the week and twice on Sunday. Ric and Skye show up and Ric does not like what he sees...which prompts Alexis to take Jerry after all. Good girl!

Also, Johnny knocks out Scott to steal his invitation. Why, you ask? Because Lulu is in trouble!! Anthony is out to kill her!! Do TPTB really think that we would think Anthony is soooo evil because we wants to kill Lulu? Most fans will erect a statue is his honor.

Cut to Windermere. Nikolas donates a wing in the hospital to Alan.....but there are no Quartermaines there to here this....only Em. Isn't that disgusting? Anway, Nik and Em have an announcement....they are engaged....again! Everybody cheers!! Out of excitement, (okay, maybe excitement is the wrong word) Lucky and Liz dance together, mimicking their first time at the ball.

Sam does not like this dancing nonsense and she calls Liz out on it. Liz tells Sam she's an evil, selfish bitch &she knows that Sam watched Jake get kidnapped. Because Jason trusts her enough to tell her. Insert patented Liz eyeroll/smirk here. Sam is all like "Bitch, please, I get to screw Lucky, AND he takes his shirt off....so take that!" Then there's a catfight!! Seriously, there are probably a million men all over the world who would die to see Kelly Monaco and Rebecca Herbst clawing at each other. Maybe for his next party, Nikolas could build a mudpit on the dance floor.

But they are not the only ones fighting. Scott and Luke are also fighting about Lulu and Logan's relationship. I did not enjoy this scene at all. Scott and Luke are hilarious together, but seeing them prop Lulu and Logan makes me sad. They are sooooooo much better than this.

And of course Johnny is all going nuts because precious LuLu is in danger. Ugh, enough is enough, seriously. I saw more chemistry in the couple of minutes he was dancing with Maxie than with Lulu. Let's explore that, writers!

You might be wondering why Carly hasn't been mentioned yet. Well that's because all she's doing at thhis point is text messaging Leticia's killer and not telling anyone. And she keeps pulling her cellphone out of her bra....um, you're at a formal ball!! Classy one, that Carly is.

But she's not the only one who isn't minding her manners. Patrick is feeding Leyla with his fingers. PEOPLE!! THIS IS A FORMAL BALL! And to think, this is a doctor and a nurse. You think they would know better, what with germs and all that!

And you know Robin isn't enjoying the view of Leyla and Patrick. But ever the loyal friend, she congratulates Nik on his engagment. And then kinda asks him for his sperm. Yeah, you heard me. He just got engaged to her friend and she asked him to father her child. I was kinda stunned when I heard that....but I support anything that would ever lead to a Robin/Nikolas pairing.

After her sperm request is denied Robin is comforted by Maxie and Georgie. It's actually a very cute scene. The Maxie gets mad, calls Leyla a skank, and rips off her pearl necklace. Uh, okay.

Uh-oh! It's Anthony Zachara! And he's playing with some kinda big piece of string. But I doubt he's playing cats-in-a-cradle.


This just in! Carly found the text-message killer. Wait, it's only Coop. Maxie becomes Coop's human shield to ensure that Carly doesn't shoot him. Ever the gentleman, Coop doesn't move, he just stands behind her. Maxie, he maybe hot, but that's just really chicken. Especially for a cop!

Emily and Nik spend some alone time together, which Em uses to prop Jason/Liz, and basically dump on Lucky. What a great friend. It's not like Lucky didn't take a bullet and almost die for you, Em. No not at all. Nik flips out on her, but forgets not less than 20 seconds later.

Liz also sees Nik's mood swings, and Emily clues her in on Nik's problem. She tells Liz that because of this ilness, Nik is afraid to spend time with Spencer. But what was the excuse before that?

This isn't the last of Nik's mood swings. Not by far. In an obvious chemistry test, Nik soothes Leyla over the loss of her pearls, a family heirloom, and insists on finding the killer.....of the pearl necklace. He later overhears Patrick and Robin arguing, and has a blackout. He beats up Patrick on Robin and Leyla's behalf. Patrick is miffed afterwards, but I think he's just mad that Nikolas totally owned him.

But a pearl necklace is the very least of all the problems. A storm is brewing, and everbody has to sleepover at Windermere! As if on cue, the lights go out.

Oh, and Logan is all mad that Lulu ran off with Johnny and starts man-handling poor Nadine (who looks better in the dress than Lulu, in my opinion.) But not to fear-it's Spinelli to the rescue!!

Ric still has his panties in a bunch over the fact that Alexis took Jerry to the ball. Alexis tells Ric that she can kick his ass! Classic!

Oh, and Sonny showed up. He flirts with Kate. That's it. Oh, and they have "The Talk." No, not about marriage....about his "business."

But he's not the only one to show up! In a scene that made me laugh so hard I nearly peed myself, we see Jason, full-speed, on this jet-ski type device on the way to the ball! Have any of you guys ever seen Grease 2? I don't blame you if you didn't but there is one scene where Michael is riding his motorcycle and you hear Stephanie sing a song called "Cool Rider" in the background. This is what was playing in my head while seeing Jason riding this jet-ski. LABC & I proceeded to call him Jason "Cool Rider" Morgan for the rest of the week.

In other news, Sam is giving Lucky the cold shoulder over his dance with Liz, Robin faints, and Liz wandered off by herself and finds a dead guy in the closet. More on that next time.

We then hear Alexis scream! It seems that Ric has been speared by a sword! Ruh-roh, Scooby!

Stay tuned for the recap of the week of the 5th-9th. Probably tomorrow night or Monday. Will Ric live? Can Skye's hair get any higher? Will Lulu ever STFU and do what she's told? And what else can Carly pull out of her dress? Stay tuned....